Career vs. Family
It is obvious when someone chooses time away from family to dedicate themself to a career. The “I don’t have a choice clause comes into play.” And, yes, there are many different scenarios but let’s face it, many do it because they are making the kind of money they need to support a large mortgage payment, plus necessities and desires of luxury.
And, many will claim or can’t face the fact they live beyond their means.
“Sometimes working 65 hours a week just so you can live a fancy life is worth more than your family. Well, maybe not, but actions speak louder than words, don’t they?”
We have become a slave to money in America. Not all, but many have. The statistics are that 30% – 50% of marriages end in divorce here (according to statsitics by Dr. Phil with 1st and 2nd marriages), and one of the major factors is “lack of commitment.” Marriage is hard, there is no denying that; and without commitment how can a marriage last? Commitment means sacrifice.
I’ll say it again because I want to drive this point home.
Commitment. Means. Sacrifice.
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It is necessary to work – but all the time???
At the end of the day, it doesn’t take a genius or a parent to see that your children feel neglected or that you’re on the verge of a divorce. Most of these things are very obvious. Is the paycheck and the position more rewarding than quality time with your family? However, most importantly, do you care or do you even realize it?
I once heard in a meeting, “I know I put my job before my family, but I’m not expecting you guys to.” In actuality – he was. My team and I had to work 10-15 hour days at the end of each month. We were all very upset about this constant battle. I was bringing home large checks but there was no time for me anymore. No time for anyone really, not for my friends and family, and I was single with no kids. I can’t imagine how my co-workers who had children felt being away from them so often. They wanted to be with their families and thought the hours were getting out of control, yet they were too scared to say anything. They simply didn’t want to get fired or quit. They thought about their bills first. The boss led by example by stating that working late hours was “team work.”
When is the paycheck so great and rewarding rather than being at that baseball game or spending time with your partner more often because you’re not so exhausted from work? How about the time when you get home and your kids want to have a conversation with you, or want you to tuck them into bed at night? When is enough, enough? Does it even matter?
Some people don’t know how to manage time and some just don’t know how to find a position that works for them. They apply for what pays $75,000 or more a year and have no interest in what the hours will actually cost them. They wait for the divorce to happen, or for their children to say: “Dad/Mom, I never see you, you’re always working!”
Famous last words: “What should I do? I can’t just quit!”
The truth of the matter is, yes you can. You can make it clear that you can’t work those hours or find something else. I didn’t say it was easy and this article is not about it being easy, it is about you deciding what you want, who you are, and how you have the power to make it happen.
You CAN look for something else while you work and switch positions. You CAN get into a smaller house note or trade in your car.
They are not simple choices – they are not supposed to be. It is supposed to be the sacrifice you make to hold on to what you value most. But again, you decide what is important.
The Big Question
Now, this is the question: “What is it that you value and love the most?” If it is your career, then why would you quit? That wouldn’t make sense. That is why this article is called Career vs. Family…
You decide who wins.